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Poem/ flow write/panic attack

hawinky8

I wrote these a few months ago. Im not sure what it is but I thought I would share it.

?

My heart beats like a panic

Though I am happy and alive

Almost too much life feels close to dying

Living the high life, the fast life, the sleepless and the vast life

Brining me closer to the panic

My heart beats; rapid, irregular, hard within my chest

forgetting to breath…..breathing too deep

life is too steep for me to climb up.

Relaxing when I look at you, when you hold me and walk with me

Cool to the touch and warm to hold

calming me down, my heart unfolds.

 

The It

Something brings me to that place

where my heart bubbles into my throat,

where breath becomes deep in effort and shallow in my stomach and chest.

Good?

Bad?

Whose to say….?

It is me, so I suppose its neither but something to unfold.

Tears, joy, anger, love, loss, future, past, beauty, death, life, good enough? too good?

Let IT out!

Let IT Go!

Hold IT,

Recognize IT,

Release IT!

 

2 weeks without my anxiety herbs

hawinky8

Today marks the 2 week mark without taking my anxiety supplement  called Zen. It works amazingly in my opinion, but I was relying on it too much.

I ran out 2 weeks ago and hadn’t ordered a new bottle. I received my bottle a week ago and haven’t opened it. So far its been a little bit of a bumpy ride but is challenging me to use my breathing techniques, exercise, and eat properly as well as feel what is giving me anxiety in my current life.

 

 

Oh what a world we live in.

hawinky8

I don’t know where to begin right now. …. I just watched a TV show that was exciting and interesting. It was sent in the 1800s and was about war famine and love. My thoughts were that my life is so different from the TV show. I know nothing of war and nothing a famine but I know a lot about love. After the TV show I got on Facebook, and I scrolled through stories, real life things that are happening right now. People displaced and killed from a fire only a few hours away from here. I saw another post about Venezuelans fleeing to Brazil to find a better life. The picture in detected families sleeping in Hammocks crowded together and the concrete building. I saw another interview of a child refugee from the Congo. I realized that life has not changed much at all since then. Will there always be people suffering? Will there always be war? What makes it all worth it? Love makes it all worth it. If you were feeling worried or anxious about all of the terrible things happening in the world, take time to think about those you love. There might always be a storm Somewhere around you but the more we focus on the love and light the better we will get through. Love and light be our guides.