Author: hawinky8

Yesterday I met someone that ended up helping me through a very bumpy flight. At one point I was taking my anxiety tincture and he was sitting next to me And asked what I was taking. Told him it was my rose and Howthorn tincture and that helps keep me calm and happy. He said to me “I hear deep breathing helps too.” I laughed and said “sometimes I need a little help taking a deep breath.” Then proceeded to tell me about how in tough situations it’s hard for people to remember to breathe sometimes and that using a certain technique helps. Breath in for four seconds hold it in for four seconds and breathe out for four seconds. Do this cycle until you feel yourself able to think and calm down. Soon we proceeded to get on our flight. Last 20 minutes were bumpy and felt scary in my Opinion. I used his advice And did my four breathing as I will call it from now on. It definitely helped! That I didn’t take my fear away it allowed me to stay calmer and focused.

Thank you Stranger!

Sea wind sweeps against my face

I feel my feet bare on the cold wet ground.

Warmed by the sun wrapped around my back,

I am being

Meditating? No.

I am being

Being with people that bring joy

Being amongst nature that grounds and calms the body

Being in a moment that you would choose to last forever if you could

Being is something that happens when you don’t try.

Be grateful for being.

It is fleeting yet carries you through the moments when things are happening.

Do you ever have so many emotions that you feel like your about to burst, but the emotions are coming from something so simple? I’ve always been an emotional being, crying, laughing, jumping for joy, crippled in sadness. Why, I wonder do we tend to feel some emotions more than others? And why some of us feel things so strongly that we think something is wrong with us. Is it more about our brain chemistry or more about our surroundings? Or is it more about the path that the universe has set out for us?

When we experience our emotions whole heartily do we grow from them? Sometimes I feel that we do and sometimes I wonder because when I feel certain emotions I feel like I’m a so young…

Today I cried about the fact that I couldn’t brush my hair after a shower because it was so tangled and I was fed up with it being so tangled. I didn’t just shed a tear, I cried in full sobs, my body limp and my mind ready to give up, crawl into bed and sob all day. Now, I don’t really want people to know this about me. I am a happy joyful person and I want people to see me that way. But that is not all of me and I want anyone who feels alone in their emotions to know that though their emotions are uniquely theirs but they are not alone….

A poem from the moment.

Getting into the shower I step on the scale.

Trying to lose but I gained 2 more

Trying to wash off the feeling of failure

And wondering what makes our bodies do what they do

Getting out I try to comb my hair

The brush is stuck in tangles galore

I start from the bottom

Combing with care

But it doesn’t work and I want to just tare.

Tare it out, i brush harder

Tears well up and my heart pounds harder

I search for scissors, ready to cut

But none appear so I’m forced to fall apart

Wrapped in a towel I let out a sob, come out of the door and fall into it mothers arms

She gently holds me without judgement for some time

Then offers to help detangle my hair that’s intertwined

So lovely she is, to hold me and brush my hair at 31 years old.

I wonder if I will ever not need her when I get old.

Thank you for loving me and helping me still ❤️

It means no worries, for the rest of your days (according to The Lion King)

When dealing with depression and anxiety we could all use a little bit of Hakuna Matata… Im trying all sorts of things to feel this and right now I am trying Macuna pruins because a loved one of mine said that it worked amazingly for them and a friend of theirs who were struggling with happiness a lot. It is a bean that is used to improve motivation, well being, energy, sex drive and general positivity… I just ordered some from amazon and will keep you updated on what I notice. Here is a link to the one I bought.

Don’t worry, Be happy!

Macuna

Today, a kindergartener asked me “why do you have so many spots on your face?”

I took a deep breath, didn’t break into tears, and told her “sometimes they just appear” she walked away, accepting my answer without question.

What I wanted to say, through tears is… I have been feeling so many emotions, stress, sadness and anxiety lately and when I breakout it makes everything worse. I think I’m breaking out because of all the emotions I’m trying to keep a hold of. Of course I didn’t because that would not be an appropriate response for a teacher to have.

A few minutes later, my heart was filled with happiness because of another student who said to me “I love the color of your hair and your earrings, and you are so pretty and I’m happy you are helping in our class”

The honesty of her compliment made me feel so good and loved and I am so grateful for these sweet children who enrich my day with pure honesty. It’s amazing what words can do to us. They can make us feel so many emotions….

When feeling low, Try saying nice words to yourself and then say something kind to someone else. It’s amazing how powerful it can be for yourself and others.

Happy Tuesday! Be kind to your self!